You will go through a lot of emotions in the moving on phase. Sometimes you’ll feel sad and sometimes angry. Sometimes, you’ll feel a love towards him/her and sometimes strong hatred. They will break you from the inside. Sometimes, memories will make you feel nostalgic and sometimes they will haunt you.
You’ll feel more depressed after seeing other couples doing the same things you used to do with your partner.
I’ll advice you not to keep these emotions inside you. Share it with your closed ones to whom you know they will understand you and would not make fun of your feelings. Cry out loud. Cry while being alone too. Don’t let those feelings destroy you from the inside.
But, you can’t stay like that forever. You have to move on some or the other day. You have to get healed and overcome this pain. This is surely going to be tough but not impossible.
There are two options:
- To stay depressed and affect your health as well as career.
- To show courage and fight with your emotions.
First one will be the easier one right now. But the second one is correct. You need to decide whether you want to become a stronger person and move on or to stay weak forever.
You might be having a few or perhaps, a lot of regrets like you were not good while in the relationship. You couldn’t show him/her that you were the best partner.
Regrets are the biggest burden. Try hard not to keep them. Just keep in mind that you were at your best in the relationship. You did everything possible to save your relation at that time. It’s just that you guys were not destined to be together.
Here are few steps to overcome your pain:
- Cry as much you want to. Let the feelings come out. Let the tears flow. Share with closed ones. Don’t hide your pain. Cry in front of them. Just let the pain come out.
- Accept the situation. Don’t expect them to come back to you. Life is not a movie. Accept that your partner has gone forever.
- Forgive. Forgiving doesn’t always mean forgiving the person. Sometimes, it means forgiving the situations and you have to forgive him/her as well as the situation. For this, you need to forgive yourself first.
- Just stop talking about him/her after the third step. Stop stalking. Stop cribbing about that person to your friends. Just stop. Close the chapter. Behave as if you have never been into a relationship. Fake the happiness. Fake it till you feel it in real. And yes, you will start feeling that happiness in real.
You should read novels. I’m suggesting you a short novel which helped me in forgiving and in overcoming the pain and that is Looking for Alaska by John Green.
Here are few lines by John Green:
Everything that comes together falls apart. Everything. It was built, and so it will fall apart. Nothing can last, not even the earth itself.
Suffering was caused by desire and the cessation of desire meant the cessation of suffering. When you stopped wishing things wouldn’t fall apart, you would stop suffering when they did.
Someday no one will remember that. Because, memories fall apart too. And then you’re left with nothing, left not even with a ghost but with its shadow.
I’d finally had enough of chasing after a ghost who didn’t want to be discovered. We’d failed, maybe, but some mysteries aren’t meant to be solved.
-Looking for Alaska, John Green
You’ll overcome this pain. Everybody does. Be strong. Don’t give up.
“Dear little fighter, soon it will be brighter.”
God bless you.
