Sobriety gives you the chance to fix yourself.
A little background – Mid-thirties. Family of five plus a dog and a house. I am the main income provider. I had a daily weed habit that I kicked in 2013 and am currently working through a daily drinking habit of 2–8 drinks plus more on the weekends.
I am what you would call a functional alcoholic, and like many others, I have attempted to get sober multiple times over the course of the last 5 years. At first, only a few days was as long as I could go. I then went a couple of weeks and then a whole month before I fell back into terrible habits for another year or more.
I had a bout of sobriety for two months in 2019, a whole sober October in 2020, and then made it 3 months in 2023. Every time I went back to the same destructive habits.
As of this writing, I have been sober for exactly 6 months.
Sobriety gives me the energy to fix my physical health problems, the clarity of mind to begin tackling my mental health problems, and the calmness to be the father and husband I need to be. But I know it won’t solve all of my problems overnight. It hasn’t been a magic pill that immediately solved all my problems.
You can’t hide behind that familiar buzz that gives you so much comfort. The happiness you are chasing when you pick up the first drink of the day isn’t real. It only lasts as long as it takes your liver to pull the alcohol kicking and screaming from your bloodstream.
True happiness is a long journey but drinking while on that journey is like trying to paddle a canoe up a waterfall. You will become so blinded by the water smacking you in the face that you won’t realize you need to ditch the canoe and take the walking path around the waterfall.
The first thing you will notice is how good sleep can be. You will become tired far earlier than normal, fall asleep quicker, and stay asleep. The heartburn that wakes you up in the middle of the night will go away and you won’t need to pee multiple times. Dreaming will return, which is fun.
My energy is incredible. My daily baseline is much higher when I don’t have a headache for half of the day, and the highs can be through the roof. My mind is clear to tackle things immediately after waking up.
I can take the time to enjoy my coffee instead of slugging it down in the car. The kids are fed better breakfasts and I have a bit more patience with them in the early mornings (still not perfect). I have more focus at work and instead of wasting time and making excuses, I can get tasks done on time.
After work, I have more energy to play with the kids or work around the house, more energy for bedtimes, and occasionally a few more drops of energy to get a few house projects done after they are asleep. The to-do list is, by some miracle, getting shorter.
However, not every day is like this. I am still getting in ruts I find hard to get out of and don’t have alcohol as the first thing I can remove to find my energy again. I have to find other ways to cope with daily stress and mildly depressive phases.
Going on bike rides and spending time in the garden are the best relief I have found. Sobriety won’t fix a shitty job or shitty relationships. These take more work and focus which can only be done while sober.
Staying active has been most important. A simple walk of 10 minutes can do wonders for relieving stress the same way a beer used to. It also has accelerated the weight loss I noticed from cutting out an extra 500–2000 calories per day.
At around 5 months I began to notice that I started feeling disgust when a beer commercial would come on. I don’t think I ever noticed how prevalent alcohol commercials are, and how manipulative and predatory they seem; much like pharmaceutical commercials (in the States).
For some reason, rather than the desire to have a beer with the happy people in the commercial, the memory of the nasty taste of my first beer came rushing back. I don’t understand how my body acquired the taste for alcohol over the years, but the reversal has been revelatory. I now understand the detrimental nature of alcohol on a much deeper level.
Some social gatherings are easy to not drink at and others are hard. You have to be honest with yourself and those around you that you are trying to make a change for the better. Everyone will understand and (if you have good friends) they won’t pressure you into having a drink. A simple “No thanks!” goes a long way.
I still have most of my flaws and am working on them. Giving myself grace has been most important.
If you attempt to get sober once, don’t demean yourself. Work through what you need to and try again.
It has taken me 5 years of trying and I finally feel like my life is changing for the better. I am honestly scared to drink again because of how detrimental it can be to the personal and professional goals I have begun to work towards.
Get sober. Your body, mind, and spirit will thank you.
