I think this is a great question and one I have thought about a lot. There definitely is a correlation between high levels of intelligence and solitude, sadness/depression, and difficulty connecting with other people. I think there are various factors that could explain different cases of intelligent people being lonely, but most of them boil down to the types of personalities and disposition that go along with a person of exceptional intelligence.
In a lot of ways, people who are highly intelligent can live inside their own bubbles, basically needing their own insular space carved out for them to devote themselves to mental activities/intellectual pursuits. Whether it’s a scientific or mathematical person trying to work out a certain hypothesis or experimenting and trying to figure out complex problems, a musician composing a symphony, a writer creating a novel, or someone philosophically inclined who enjoys constant mental stimulation and focusing on complex metaphysical conundra, there is just something about the persona of really smart people that is inherently solitary or that requires solitude to suit their needs or interests.
Another factor stems from the problem intelligent people often encounter vis-a-vis other people. It can be difficult for intelligent people to get along well with average folks, who the intelligent person can easily alienate or in turn be bored or turned off by (I think it goes both ways) and also even other intelligent people with whom there are often competitive tensions, endless sparring or heated clashes of personality.
I remember in my college dorm when one of my roommates told me how people don’t really like a “smartass,” they prefer a “dumbass”— even if the person is really smart, they have to sort of act more silly or crass, or conceal their smarts in order to appeal to the masses. The manner and character of intelligent people tend to have this repelling effect on a lot of other people. Sometimes it’s due to other people’s “littleness” or “pettiness,” insecurities, jealousies, or simply their inability to relate, understand, or appreciate the interests or thought processes of intelligent people.
I think intelligent people often face the struggle of having to compromise themselves in order to fit into an ordinary circle of people— whether it means kind of “dumbing themselves down” or concealing their intellectual superiority, pretending to have interests alike to others, etc.
I think the truth is that most people, regardless of intelligence, don’t want to have to compromise their true essence for the sake of being accepted. Intelligent people can also disaffect other people in how they challenge their beliefs or thought processes, argue or present their opinionated views which others feel incapable of challenging and so prefer to just avoid them.
It’s also hard I think for intelligent people to resist cynicism or sarcasm, which pushes a lot of people away, and it’s very easy for really intelligent people to come off as condescending, even if they don’t know they are.
More often than not, the divergence happens probably without people even consciously knowing they are avoiding or rejecting people of high intelligence— there just isn’t that “clicking” of a common shared nature and thus they go their separate ways.
It can be very difficult for an intelligent person to find his or her way in this world. They tend to set higher standards or more ambitious goals, feel dissatisfied or disappointed more easily, and are usually more restless and cannot achieve complacency in the way that others can. Their minds are always active and seeking something to engage them. And sadly most of our fellow humanity cannot make the grade for this.
The disconnect that results seems almost inevitable— unless this intelligent person happens to be very well socialized and has found a way to successfully navigate the social sphere among any and all types of people.
As for myself, I have found high intelligence to yield very little benefits in my day-to-day life. Sometimes it’s an awesome thing when people really appreciate it and embrace you because of it and not in spite of it. But I certainly believe that the world is designed to work best for people of average and not exceptional intelligence. All the visible evidence before me everywhere all around every day screams to confirm that theory.
