Do you miss your ex?

Of course I do.

He was my best friend for two years. How can I not?

He was my first thought in the morning and my last at night. He was the one to occupy my dreams, my thoughts, my everything.

I miss him. Sometimes more than I can bear, sometimes more than I can encapsulate with words.

I miss you.

Not as painfully as I used to, but I miss you.

I miss our perpetual and senseless laughs, our countless talks, our furtive (yet oh-so-obvious)glances at each other when we’d feign anger. I miss us being silly and stupid, indulging ourselves on each other’s weirdness, squeezing each other’s hands as hard as we could just because. I miss the childish little giggles between our kisses, our special little “fishy” kisses that you always thought were so weird but never stopped beckoning for more. I miss the way we made each other laugh, the way we made each other smile.

I miss the butterflies that never failed to tickle my stomach when I saw you walk towards me- that split second before I’d run to you and you’d wrap your arms around me. I even miss the little quibbles we would have and then how proud we’d be when we resolved one of those haha

I miss listening to you talk; rambling on about some stressful new problem you had related to your work, about a new phenomenon that had sparked your interest; excited about some new game that I would be forced to learn about because I loved you :), or about a discovery of a new song you’d fallen in love with- the songs that would become ours. I miss your little secrets, your little stories. Our little jokes.

I miss the way the trivialities of our lives were given meaning as they became stories to tell each other.

I miss how passionate, expressive and transparent we could be about our thoughts, our dreams, our love; about everything and anything. I miss how unconditionally supportive we were of each other. I miss that incomparable friendship.

I miss your voice, the way you answered the phone when I called, the pet names you greeted me with. I miss the way you said my name. And boy, do I miss your laugh.

I miss your being the one to share my random revelations with throughout the day, your mere presence in my life making me feel like everything was going to be okay.

I miss us. The love we shared, our time together, the perks of our relationship, our wonderful friendship; I miss it all. I miss that spark in time before our lips would meet and we’d be transported into a world of our own, not knowing how long our stay there would be. I miss what we brought out in each other: when we were young and crazy in love, hopeful and excited about the future.

I miss when you were my person and I was yours. I miss the warmth, the comfort, the stability sprinkled with the passionate frenzy of love we shared.

Most of all, I miss you. Just you as a person. I miss everything about you. The person you were when we were friends, the person you were when we became us; the occasional immaturity, the occasional selfishness. Everything that you were, everything that you wanted to be, I miss it all.

Thank you for being someone that’s given me so much to miss. Thank you for being someone that I still miss. I hope you’re doing well and I truly wish the best for you. I hope you’re as wonderfully inspired, passionate, excited as you were when I loved you.

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