I isolated myself.
The complete opposite what everyone told me to do.
When I felt alone, struggling and lonely in life, this is what I did.
Chances are you are not in amazon jungles.
People are there around you.
Problem is they don’t even realize you exist.
What’s hard to realize is you don’t want them in your life.
That friend you are being nice to or that girl you are trying to be friends with, you don’t want them in your life. Trust me.
They would come in your life, suck all little good things that are left in your life and leave you in the gutter.
I thought I could make friends by being nice , or doing favors to people. But they would take the favors and throw me in the gutter again. I don’t know why.
Maybe they are good people having bad days.. Or they don’t trust people. I sometimes feel confused.
So I don’t ask why anymore. Sometimes I do. But then I don’t.
Isolating myself allowed me to do things that I thought I couldn’t do.
I would read. I worked on myself. I probably didn’t even realized it. I made friends with the authors I guess. Everywhere I went I carried my cellphone with me. I would take it out and read. I probably read hundreds of self help articles , blogs and books.
I would just scroll through all day reading about different things, struggles of people. People who were quite similar to me. I found that I wasn’t alone after all feeling and going through these emotions.
It was slow and tough. I worked on myself for god knows how many hours.
I probably never realized it. Probably the best thing I did.
I started doing what they did. What helped them get out of the situations that I was facing.
I started doing four things everyday.
- I would improve physically. Some days I went for a walk or slept eight hours, ate fruits, or took a bath. It could be anything.
- I would improve emotionally. I would talk to anyone who brought me up. If you don’t have anyone like that in your life, cut one person who brings you down.Being alone is gazillion times better than being with someone who brings you down.
- I would improve mentally. I discovered something called the braingasm effect. It’s when I literally feel new connections forming in my head and my thinking capacity going up. But I have to work for it. I would find braingasm moments sometimes in books. But they were limited and dependent on being lucky on finding a great book. Do this, pick a piece of paper and write 10 ideas on anything. Write ten ideas for next harry potter movie. Or ten alternatives to clothes. Or ten ways to become a tarzan in new york city. The idea is not to come up with good ideas. Most of your ideas will be horrible. The idea is to expand your thinking capacity.
- I would improve spiritually. I would try to list things that I am grateful for. Trust me, it works like magic. I would count things. Sometimes I can’t find any. So I would start being grateful for my body organs. Grateful for my eyesight. Grateful for my hands.
I would hate my life while doing the above. Cursing myself and my life.
But then something weird starts to happen after two three months.
I would start to feel healthier.
I would start to feel luckier.
I would start to feel happier.
I would start to feel being wanted.
People would want me in their lives all of a sudden. Everyone would be trying to befriend me. Trying to pick my brains instead to learn. I would start to find people who were smarter than me. I would learn from them. They would help me then learn even more and better myself even more.
Then I would become over confident and stop doing the above and come back to zero again.
Then I would start again.
I don’t know why it works for me. I have no idea if it would work for you. I hope it does.
